In just 20 days my daughter will turn 17. That’s given me 17 years to hear it all. Starting nearly from the day she was born.
I can’t believe you’re not even going to try breastfeeding.
You’re giving her Pop-Tarts for breakfast? That’s nasty.
She plays too many video games and doesn’t play outside enough.
How is she ever going to be socialized if you homeschool her?
I could go on and on.
And when these things were said to me – I put on my defensive face and raised my hackles – like Mama Bears do. And I was SO ready to go to fisticuffs.
But I’d be a liar if I said I never judged other moms for what they do. Because I have.
It’s taken me the time from raising an infant to almost an adult to say – Let’s take off the gloves. I parent differently than you do. You parent differently than me. AND THAT’S OKAY.
It doesn’t mean I am wrong. It doesn’t mean you are wrong.
To those that judged me: My daughter and I bonded just fine. She’s healthy, she’s happy, she’s smart, she has friends. She’s ready to go off into the world in a year, and I’m proud to say I didn’t hurt her in the process of preparing her to get to that point.
To those that I’ve judged: I’m sorry. I don’t always know your circumstances, yours or your child’s. And even if I do, that doesn’t give me the right to think how I’ve parented is better than how you parent.
As we often say to our children, Let’s Just Play Nice. Keep our hands to ourselves (or in this case our opinions). Use Kind Words. Let’s uplift and learn from each other instead of tearing each other down and making our peers feel inadequate.
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